constant headache..

we're not done yet with Ramadhan but then we're busy preparing for Hari Raya? I'm no exception.. Every year I always say the same thing that Hari Raya comes too early and I can still recall what went on and how i celebrated Hari Raya last year.. Too early, isn't it? Nevertheless, we can't change the fact so we have to face it.

As of now, I still have tonnes to do.. My completed list is far shorter than the 'yet to complete' list and that will be.. cookies, the need to sit and count how much "ang pows" i'm giving this year, the "usual" whose house will we be going on the first day raya and etc etc.. apart from that, the major headache to 'clean' the entire house!! headache.. headache..

for Ramadhan this year, so far, I have not break fast outside with friends.. I'm always confined to breaking fast at home now that Hub is on permanent night shift and for him, it's a MUST that at least we break fast together simply because we can't get to 'sahur' together almost everyday.. So there are plans where my friends would plan for Iftar but somehow, couldn't get everyone together and so the plan was aborted.. However, I see it as a chance for me to refine my culinary skills and so far, has been good at it.. My seafood black pepper pasta received a thumbs up from everyone at home =)) it was hotttt and saucy.. *i like

hm.. actually.. i had wanted to 'let loose' a certain 'anger, disappointment' that i felt towards a certain someone (who had yet to be a part of the family) and a good 'bootlicker' who does things for praises.. the bootlickings are so fake that it was sooo obvious in our eyes but too bad, some people have eyes but failed to see the 'stage show and the fine fine acting.. i have no qualms abt that but if it is affecting MY reputation then i have the cause to be angry, right? But knowing me, i would just shrugged the whole thing off.. I'd rather be myself than a hypocrite.. I'd rather show my love and concern to people who deserve it.. I'd rather do things which I think is for my benefit or my family's benefits rather than to pleases you and most importantly, i do not need to be a 'bootlicker' just so you will praise, appreciate or love me.. I don't need all that.. I have my mom's love, my siblings' care and concern and family who appreciates me for the way I am..

I have said this countless times: i don't need you because you were never there to provide the love, care and concern.. if you can't provide all these to your flesh & blood then why do it for an 'outsider'..?

For the 'bootlicker'.. keep bootlicking.. you don't bother me!