Reality Check..

It's 10mins to midnight and yet, I am still wide awake.. I guess today's events are still very much sticking to my already so-occupied mind.. :D and since I'm at it now, I might as well share it here instead of cooping it inside me which obviously is not comforting at all..


Today, Daniyal started Nursery 2 at Kidz Meadows Kindergarten (used to be known as MERCU)at Pasir Ris. He was, as usual, did not cry or even bothered about me. I guessed as much that my presence was not needed but being the kiasu parent, I opted to be a part of his first day at school and this is the very reason why I am still awake now.. The school and the educators (teachers per se) are fine and for a very first time, the Principal of the centre is very very friendly and very very professional despite her young age (i think so.. she doesnt look any younger than 25 years old?) I have liaised with her way before today and she came across as someone who you could rely on despite the post she holds there. Let's hope this impression last till Daniyal is in K2.. Insyallah.


Today too.. REALITY opened before my eyes.. U see, Kidz Meadow is a muslim based kindergarten so obviously 100% of the children enrolled there are all muslims.. Some with mixed parentage like chinese/muslim, eurasian/muslim and when you have all muslim children centre, you can of course expect some of the parents to wear, u know, the Hijab. I know I don't wear the Hijab, but I dress modestly, because I do not want the other parents to give me you know, a one kinda look.. LOL! What saddens me is the fact that there are cliques.. u know like those parents wearing Hijabs will stick together, even when you see eye to eye, they simply looked away or sniggered. Those parents, like me, whose not wearing the Hijab and do not know one another did not have cliques at all, but when our eyes met, we smiled and managed some small talks. So, I'm confused. Does the outlook really matters? That if you wear Hijab, you can only smile and acknowledge those that wear Hijab only? Another incident that unfolded before my eyes was when my son's classmate, they are fraternal twins, 1 boy and 1 girl, and mixed of Eurasian/Muslim parentage, walked in with their parents, with their Eurasian father, and the 'cliques' started to observe the Mom (whose Muslim) from the head to toe. I have my digicam in my hand and at that time, how I wished I could start clicking the scenario. I believed, the Mom would feel soo awkward.. I think too awkward that she left the kids to the teacher and got out of the classroom, when you can actually stayed with the children on the first day of school. I feel so bad for the Mom.. She must have been looking forward to see her kids in action in the classroom. After she left, you could see the 'cliques' whispering to one another. My mom's accompanying Daniyal tomorrow so I had to tell her to be wary of some people. I know my mom, she's just too friendly to everyone and will start chatting anyone up.. Haha!


Second Reality Check.


Planning for a second child? I am. We would love to give Daniyal a sibling, boy or girl, doesn't matter and because I'm turning 30 next year, thought it is a good time to start.. Conceiving is never easy for some people. Doesn't mean you can get pregnant when you want to.


After today, I shuddered at the thought of it. Just early this evening I was telling hubby. ARE WE PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY and most importantly FINANCIALLY ready?

PHYSICALLY - Until when can we rely on our parents, my mom, in my case. Every year, she's getting older and may not always be healthy.. If we don't have her assistance, who can we rely on? Me? I gotta work to help and strengthen the family income. Maid? Don't even suggest this to Hub.


MENTALLY - My elder sis commented this yesterday : It's hard to find a proper childcare/nursery/school for children nowadays, huh? If me, I would have split headaches. Trust me, I did and it drained me, mentally! After finally securing a place in the centre, next agenda is to ensure that he can adapt well and this means, communicating to your child and inform him in advance that it's a new school environment for him and that this time, he's taking the school bus, to and fro. That is the school part. What about the everyday life? Life? I don't even have a life now. Ha! My day starts at 7am, when I go out to work and ends at 11pm, when Daniyal is finally asleep. At times, I couldn't get a proper bath or dinner because the moment I stepped into my home, Daniyal would be stuck to me for the next 4 hours. I considered myself lucky for having mom around to help me with the household chores and the cooking, of course! (So u can imagine the mental state I was in when Mom went for Haj for a whole month.. I merely survived, so let's give me a pat on my shoulder)..


FINANCIALLY - Let's do some calculations, shall we?


$150 (School fees, monthly), $77 (Transport, monthly), $70 (Milk powder, monthly), $17 (diapers), $50 (miscellaneous).. Add them all together? It's a whopping, $364 monthly. Have 2 children, multiply the amount by 2, please..? Cheap? No? Expensive? Same sentiments as me. Yet, today at the centre, I saw at least 10 or so parents with at least 3 kids in tow (all toddlers age), some heavily pregnant moms (some expecting number 2 or 3 or maybe even 4?).. So pro-govt, hor? LOL! Well, all these are individuals want and I am in no position to comment but I really wonder, how they manage?! It's not an enviable sight, I must say. While the Mom was handling the older child (whose gotten into N1), the younger one wailed.. I mean he literally screamed, while in the pram. Another heavily pregnant Mom was comforting her child to stop crying, while carrying her on her already so-big-tummy (and no husband in tow, ok). I was afraid if she could go into labour, anytime after that. If they were to strike a conversation with me just now, the 'kaypo' in me cannot resist to ask such questions.. Hehe! So I'd better shut up, right? So when 'a parent' asked me just now.. " One child only? " and I said "Yes." and she asked again "Working?" and I replied "Yes." and she commented " Cepat2 ada number 2, skrg kan cuti beranak 4 bulan.. rugi tak beranak (let me translate - the lady wanted to have a number 2 child asap because of the 4 months maternity, and if i don't, its wasted).. Ahhh!! 4 MONTHS maternity.. so that's why people get pregnant until 4 children.. LOL! 4 months of so-called free from employers to equalise with a lifetime of responsibilities.. No way!!

As usual, when your Hubby is like mine, even after I told him the events that happened today, completed with the re-enactments (u know lah me sometimes very drama-mama).. all he can say is..

" Lah!! All these kan from God.. Insyallah, it will turn out allright nye. If we have, we have. Then we can start to plan again. If we don't have, then, what's the cause for you to worry now? Chill babe.. We'll talk when the time comes.. "

I went to a Couple Communications talk before with Hubby, organised by PA. The speaker did mention that in relationship or marriage, it's always the woman/wife/mother who worry a lot. It's okay to worry but its absurd to worry on things that HAVE YET to happen. MEN on the other side is MORE relaxed.. Come what may, they are relaxed.. (But if their car kena 'langgar', see they relax or not!)..


So, I'm typical of a Women/Wife/Mother who WORRY Unnecessarily, I guess!!


I'd better stop now or I'll worry about getting to work on time!


Adios and good nite! (good morning tooo)