pre-holiday B.L.U.E.S..

It's 2 more weeks to my Holiday in Bali but instead of feeling the super excitedness that I ever felt before, I'm feeling lousy. It's not because I'm not well.. neither has it got to do with the 0.5 month bonus for Civil servants, like me..

It's because....

Mom's leaving for Haj next week and I'm stressed out. Of course I am happy that finally, Mom's wish to perform her Haj has come true this year.

I'm worried about Daniyal.. Will he pine for Mom? Will he keep asking where's Mom? Everyone thought it's time I sit down with him and give him the impression that from next week, he won't get to see his Grandma till end December. How am I going to do that? He's too young to understand but yet, I did try..

" Daniyal, hm... nantikan Nenek naik aeroplane tau. Nenek nak 'sembahyang' (lame kan? no choice) kat negeri Islam. Nanti nenek balik lamaaaaa sangat-sangat (Melayu apa nih??)"

Ok. So questions started to pour in from him and I was numbed for answers.. I left it at that.. Maybe I'll try again this weekend.

Of course, the most saddest person that my Mom is 'leaving' us for around 27 days, was my younger sister, Shasha. To make it worst, Mom's leaving on Shasha's brithday.. That girl will cry buckets, I tell ya'. So, in order not to miss Mom that much, Hub and I are bringing her to our holiday... but happy she's NOT! (yeah.. she is THAT mommie's girl)

Aargh.. the very mention of Holiday is another stress factor for me.. people would definitely comment.. "What? Holiday? When her Mom's performing the Haj?".. I anticipate this.. even from my own and my Hub's family members.. Although, I have Mom's full blessing about this Holiday, I can't deny the fact that I worry about what people around us will say. However, I'm fortunate to have an understanding mom. Even my elder sis asked me to go and enjoy ourselves.. It so happens that Hub's leave is during this period if not, we would have not gone anywhere..

I shared this 'worrying factor' with a close friend and I think what she said is kinda 'rationale'..

"Alah Ila.. kau pergi ni pon dgn laki and anak kau.. bukan nye kau buat maksiat. (LOL!) Ada tu, Mak bapak pergi Haji tapi anak kat sini buat maksiat. Pucuk pangkal diri kita sendiri".. very laser right my this friend?! LOL! Whatever, whatever.. To each his own!

Bottomline line: My Hub, Me and Daniyal deserves a break!! We have been working sooo hard that at times we feel we have neglected each other. Hopefully, we can spend time with one another and catch up on old times, with the inclusion of Shasha (this being her 2nd trip w/o Mom).

I sooo look forward to the holiday but at the same time, its gonna 'rain' HEAPS next week, so be prepared.. LOL.. the first 2 days will definitely be hard for me.. what to do? So used to seeing Mom everyday..

My hope for now is for Daniyal to cooperate with me and behave... come on Son, let's work hand in hand OK? ;D

The sunset @ Kuta Beach, Bali..

How can I NOT look forward for my trip?

;C